Dick Carroll Hates "Sexy" Bikes
We chatted with the illustrious Australian cartoonist and illustrator about the terrible transit in Sydney, the worst pants to wear while cycling, and why he misses Brooklyn.
Leg Day is a newsletter about pursuing joy as a city cyclist. Dick Carroll, 39, is a cartoonist and illustrator who lives in Forest Hills, Queens. I first became familiar his work via PutThisOn, where he’s been publishing bi-weekly cartoons about clothing-related quandaries since the end of 2018. His biggest accomplishment, I think, was convincing me to buy a beret. (You’re welcome, haters!) We started chatting last year when I learned he was also a cyclist. Then, in May, we met up in Forest Park to chat about how he learned, moving to Brooklyn, and his hatred of spandex. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
When did you learn how to ride a bike?
I would have been four. Maybe even younger. I got a secondhand BMX bike for Christmas before I started school. I remember my dad trying to teach me how to “mono” it. [Editors note: this is Aussie for popping a wheelie.] He was probably 23 at the time. I couldn’t do it, but I remember trying. It was really hard. The bike didn’t have training wheels. I had it until I was like 15 or something.
Did you ride it a lot?
Oh yeah. I grew up in the country, in Dubbo, Australia. I remember riding to school, I must have been like five or six years old. Alone. Which seems insane, it was pretty far away. Must have been like 20 minutes? That’s a lot for a kid, especially in a town with no bike lanes. I remember I had to ride over a bridge. A small bridge, but one that trucks drove over. My mom told me afterwards that she used to follow me in the car.
Oh, that’s adorable. I’ve heard Australia a good place to ride. Is it?
Well, there definitely aren’t any parking protected bike lanes in my hometown. Australia still follows the American system of “cars first” design. It’s more that Australia has a big upper middle class. There are a lot of guys with shitty jobs that spend too much money on Lycra and sexy bikes. They have no personality, so they decide to ride bikes.
That’s certainly not just a thing in Australia! How long have you lived in New York?
I moved here 10 years ago. I rode a little bit, but I was mainly walking and taking public transit. I was riding a lot when I was in Sydney. I had a great bike. Honestly though, it’s a hard city to ride around. It’s super hilly and there are lots of aggressive drivers on the small streets. And there weren’t many bike lanes. I had a fixed gear bike that a friend of mine built, which I mainly rode out of necessity. The public transit was so bad.
In New York, I think the public transit is really good. I was also a bit scared of my other side of the road brain. I think I’ve adjusted now to the American way of riding on the right. Wait, it is the right … right?
It is the right, though the bike lane is often on the left!
That’s fine! As long as I know where the cars are.
Was there something that made you want to start riding here?
I started riding Citi Bikes. It used to cost about as much as catching the subway, so I would take them if it was going to be faster. I was living in Brooklyn, which is a great place to ride around. There are so many wide, single-lane one-way streets lined with huge trees. Sure, you will encounter double parked UPS trucks and FedEx trucks, but it feels fine. Most drivers are always ready for someone to walk out in front of them, so it always felt chill to me.
Was there something that made you actually buy your own?
I ended up just seeing one for sale on Instagram. It was a green Schwinn, the kind of low rider that like a paperboy would use. It had a back break and no gears. It was so low to the ground. I thought it was like a teens bike, but it was really probably made for a 12 year old. I had to buy new posts for the handlebars and seat so that I could sit high enough on it. It was fun. I think I maybe paid $150 bucks for it.
During the pandemic, I was living in Bed-Stuy. I had a friend who moving back to Texas. He had a fairly new bike and he was just like, do you want my bike? I’ll give it to you for $200. I was like, sure! Okay!
I didn’t really like it. It was easy to ride, my other bike was a real piece of shit in comparison. But this new bike was like the cheapest version of a nice bike. It looked like a $1,500 bike, but it was probably actually a $300 bike.
Ironically, someone stole both. I had both bikes locked up together on the fence in front of the brownstone we were living in. I’m sure they only wanted the nicer bike, but because it was chained to the Schwinn, I think they had to take both. Luckily, we had insurance. I did have to file a police report, which was a weird experience. This detective came around at like 11:30 pm one night and really freaked out my landlord. But in the end, I got $600 for both bikes. I used that money to get the bike I still have!
Nice! Where’d you get it from?
It’s a place on Myrtle ave, probably in Bushwick? It’s sort of like a punk rock bike place, near Birdy’s. [Editor’s note: I believe it was Harvest Cyclery.] They’re whole thing is taking old bikes and putting new components on them. You’d end up with a bike that looked like a piece of shit, but was actually pretty good. That’s the perfect combination for me. I didn’t want a really sexy bike.
Why?
I just don’t like it, aesthetically!
Why! What’s wrong with being sexy, Dick!
Ahhh, I just don’t think trying to be sexy is very cool. Like, these bikes are just trying too hard. Too much makeup. I just wanted something I could ride around!
I guess that makes sense. So you’re no longer living in Brooklyn. How’s the riding out in Forest Hills?
It’s really shit. There is a bike path that goes all the way down Queens Boulevard, you can go between Long Island City and Astoria. But it doesn’t feel like riding down Eastern Parkway. The drivers are more aggressive, it feels clearer they don’t want you around. We moved here because my wife and I were going to have a baby. Same rent, bigger space.
Have you been riding less, then?
Way less! I was riding everywhere in Brooklyn. Now, I feel more limited. I still go on rides in Forest Park, where we are today. It’s close to where I live and has a road in it that was made for cars, as I assume the road in Prospect Park was, but is now only for walking and biking. The Forest Park loop is not as nice as the one in Prospect Park, but it’s much less busy. It feels more rural, less like a park. Kind of like an actual forest.
How do you dress when you ride?
I try to be practical. Semi-practical. I like to wear shorts because they’re less constricting. I’ve found that jeans are bad. Riding tends to stress the crotch too much, which just destroys dreams. Obviously dress pants are doubly bad for the same reason. So shorts are the best, the shorter the better for me. I also like to wear a big shirt with a collar. For some reason, I don’t care about my legs getting fried in the sun. But a neck sunburn would bother me. I also usually wear a cap for some shade on the face as well.
I don’t really like any type of clothing that has one purpose. I like my wardrobe to be like a flat circle, where I can wear almost anything to any event.
In the late 2000s, I was working in a hat shop with my uncle back in Sydney. It was peak #menswear, Tumblr days. We would dress up all the time. And I’d ride my bike in everyday, full suit and dress hat. I’d be riding really fast, sending it up and down hills, in dress shoes. I would never wear lycra, and I still won’t. If It was the kind of thing I would wear on a day-to-day basis, it would make sense. But I wouldn’t, so I don’t.
Is the problem just that cycling clothes are unflattering?
No, I think unflattering is fine. Honestly, I think it’s cool. It shows you don’t care too much.
We’ve texted before about the rugby shirt, which I’ve written about. I always had an issue with the style when I lived in Australia because the social context around it was so strong. You would only wear it if you were playing rugby or had just been playing rugby. It has a different context here, which I’ve now found a way to embrace since moving here. But when I’m back there, I can’t do it. It’s a great shirt, but I can’t avoid the social signals.
I think cycling clothing feels similar. It feels weird to just be wearing it at a cafe. It just doesn’t feel like the right context.
That makes sense. I’ve started wearing it more as a practical consideration. It’s very comfortable to ride in. And wearing it does put me in like a “fitness” mindset, which is helpful if I’m trying to do harder rides.
It’s probably more obnoxious to have my elder-millennial-hipster ideas. I just don’t like turning things I like to do into hobbies.
What do you mean?
Well, I like cooking. I’m an artist, so I have obviously worked in food service. Cooking is fun, but it’s also something we all have to do. But some people treat it like it’s some sort of game. They buy specialized equipment, they dream of entering cooking shows. I find that a bit silly. Cooking is just something you should do. Don’t try to gamify every part of your life.
I feel the same way about people who gamify exercise. It’s got something to do with masculinity, like you can’t just be able to enjoy something. You have to be able to say “I’m good at it because of all these reasons.” You have to be able to describe it in detail. You can’t just float. I’m not judging you for the clothes though…
